...Raminstrations

So it's been a slow day
Iv'e got nothing in particular to demonstrate about.
Just letting the grass grow under my feet.

...the right to arm bears.

My appologies to Jasper Fforde for pinching the best line from one of his fine books.

...Fantasy Football :O(

Well I was asked at work if I wanted to contribute a team to the new Fantasy Football League season. (do I have to say Soccer ?)

Well being the person least interested in football in the world bar none, this was the team I arrived at.

Not sure they are going to accept it , but well give it a go.

After all it is a fantasy League. :O)



Name : Jabba the Hutt.
Club : The Tatooine Crime Lords
Position : Goal keeper
Cost : 3 slave girls

Iv'e chosen Jabba for his obvious athletic prowess & keenness to keep everything that approaches him.
Filling the goal mouth is a bonus as is the consumption of pitch invaders.

Name : Duke Nukem
Club : The highest bidder
Position : Right Back (in the thick of it)
Cost : 1 small planet.

The duke is in here for a big sweeping defence,
to kick arse & chew bubble gum .
Come get some !

Name : Daddy Bear
Club : Forrest
Position : Center Back
Cost : Hot Porridge & 3 picanic baskets

The biggest of the Three bears. Daddy bear will bring some stability the rear defence.















Name : Big Billy goat gruff.
Position : Left Back
Club : The Grimm Reapers
Cost : Bridge Toll

Notably the biggest of the Billy Goats Gruff
Defensively nothing gets past him. Good with his head as well as his feet. He will bridge any defensive gap & troll around the park relentlessly .














Name : Billy Whizz
Club : Beano
Position : Right Wing
Cost : 10 pence

Super fast Billy Whizz, the right wing belongs to him
....and that's just his political views.














Name : ScrappyDoo
Club : Mystery Inc.
Position : Center Midfield (and of attention)
Cost : Scoobysnacks

ScrappyDoo, a bit controversial. Never a popular one with the crowds. Scrappy has been included because I wanted a little terrier in the midfield. Not afraid to take on the opposition. Never the underdog, despite his size or his ego.














Name : The GingerBread Man
Club : The Bakers Dozen minus two.
Position : Left Wing
Cost : Chocolate buttons & kisses.

Ginger is in here for one reason.
He will run & run as fast as he can , you'll never catch him. He's the Ginger bread man.

Get the ball to him & it's game over for the opposition.











Name : Animal
Club : Muppet City
Position : Attacking Midfield
Cost : Drum sticks


I would give this chap the Captains job.
Bringing a calm & cool head Animal Is a clear leader, adding some rhythm to the team.
He will also beat any opposition to a beat too. !















Name : Asterix (The Gaul)
Club : The fighting Gauls
Position : Striker
Cost : 1 wild boar.

He may be small , but every now & then Astrix can add just that little bit of magic to a game .













Name : Desperate Dan
Club : The Comic Dandies
Position : Center Forward.
Cost : A cow pie


I've chosen Dan here for one reason only.
He's the strongest man in the world . Nuff said.

















Name : Chewbacca
Club : The rebel alliance.
Position : Striker
Cost : I didn't understand what he said.


Bit of a sore looser is our Chewey. He has been chosen up front for his height, his superb positioning around the box & his ability to rip off the heads of the opposition.

So beat that you bunch of overpaid , blouse wearing so called professional sportsmen.

...Indian call centre.

(My appologies to any offence to our native American friends)

...published !

Quite by accident got one of my photographs used in the Schmapp guide to Melbourne. Australia.
Well there you go. Little things make my day :O)

...don't look Ethel !!!

...Spunnaker

I was recently instructing on a sailing course, teaching the use of spinnakers.
I know I shouldn't make fun , but though no fault of their own really , the two students made every mistiake in the book.
Mostly this was due to some pretty appauling weather,a spot of poor communication, lack of decisiveness and a little bad luck.
They never managed to put the thing on upside down I might point out & they did manage

pull it all together at the end of the day & pass the course.

I guess there is no bad student, just a bad teacher . So I shall shut up now.

...1969 moo shot.

The US government in association with the National American Space Agency did, until recently classify the following as highly top secret.

It was noted upon the first moon landing that the bovine population had been performing a ritual "Lunar vault" for some considerable period prior to 1969.
During the harsh climate of the cold war, the mechanism for this was valued & sort after as eagerly as was the cover up to save face. The technical embarrassment the agency would face by being outwitted by cows would not be tolerated & would be seen externally of the United States as a weakness of industrial & scientific power. "If an English cow can do it, so can a Ruskie cow dammit !"
During the subsequent investigation several musical felines were interviewed with regard to their suspected involvement within what became known as the "Moo shot".
A small dog was questioned, but only found amusement in NASA's lack of headway in researching the phenomenon.

This information has leaked & the government official line is that this is "conspiracy theory, conjecture & bull"
Unofficially the investigation still goes on to no avail.
The only circumstantial evidence a few well charred burgers allegedly tracked upon atmospheric re-entry.
The cow trail seems to have gone cold.

(NASA are also curious as to the disappearance of the canteen cutlery)

...astronaughties

...bununus, bononos or benenes

It could be just me , but some bananas have a metalic taste to them at the moment.
Is some one producing fake bananas ?