Thursday, May 25, 2006

...bon voyage

So I'm off on my travels again.
This shall be the last blog for a few weeks.
Im going to nip over to the Med' and have a bit of a yot around the bottom of Greece & around the Islands with some friends.

I shall be taking with me :

1 No. Pencil : HB (used)
1 No. Pen , Bic Medium, Black.
1 No. pad of A4 paper white.
1 No. Brain, Soiled, bitter & broken..
Several of the local Beer Tokens.
and a spare pare of underpants.

To cut down on luggage weight I may have to discard the pants.

Im hoping to find my dignity, I misplaced it somewhere around the Ionian a few years ago.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

...abandon ideas & cast asides

Hmm , I think I liked the Idea that Luke Skywalker could not control the force, just like his dear old dad. It did'nt turn him evil. It just made him stick his head up cows' bottoms.
Ok the idea appealed at the time, but the cartoon sucked. So it was ditched.

I had a sudden realization that this cartoon only worked on paper, not on screen. So in the bin it went.

It was just creepy.

Childish doodle. A job that can't be automated, and a stream of consciousness thought on how it could , a little violent though. Consigned to the rubbish bin. Bye Bye.

& this is supposed to be a nursery rhyme ?, I don't know what the hell I was thinking here, violence for the sake of it possibly.
On second thoughts I want to do the TV interview with the mice with the farmers wife being busted & wheeled away by the cops in the background.

Anyway the above are a few of the junk cartoons that won't make it & will never be finished off.
I seem to be abandoning more sketches than I keep these days.
Which means a) Im becoming fussy, b) I am developing a very short attention sp.. c) I should grow up and do somthing more constructive with my lunch hour and Im sub-consciously telling myself this. or d) I should just take up knitting instead as an alternative thereapy & blog the resulting jumpers, mittens, hats, socks, and assorted wooly garments instead.

Monday, May 22, 2006

...why do it.

So yet another weekend goes by.
Another weekend too fast.
Another weekend spent surrounded by happy, grinning kids, friends & new associates..
Could be worse I suppose.

So why do it. Why spend all me spare time teaching kids to sail & adults to eventually become instructors ?

In what is ever increasingly becoming a second job. (Without a second pay packet I might add).
I took a group of adults through the third day of thier sailing course on Saterday.
Ok it was a bit windy, but no problem at all. It was a little rainy, but you expect to get a little wet. It was a little overcast, but hey. Oh. Wait. Where the hell did that huge black cloud come from! ?
When were hit by a force eight squall it appeared out of no where, and I mean fast. One minute not there, the next upon us & raging.
Further upwind this leveled the fleet of childrens boats on the broad in an instant. Every one capsized within ten seconds minimum. Without exception. Looked odd them all sitting on top of thier boats.
The two ladies in the boat with me were unaware of the potential hazard this sudden onslaught had brought upon us & were a little reluctant when I politely sugested I should take hold of the controls.
As I did the full force hit us & I can only say we took off.
Its very, very rare you feel acceleration in a sailing dinghy, this was a rare occation.
I am still genuinely amazed this did not tear the rig off of the boat.
What did happen is that I got caught, no time to turn and had to go with it. The next 30 or so seconds I can only describe it as like driving a large 4X4 vehicle through a deep puddle. I could not see much through the ensuing wall of spray & water as we skimmed across the water.

All was fine, I found a reletive calm spot in the lee of the shore & the world slowed down to thinking speed again.

Now what made this special for me was, (bear in mind thes two ladies, in thier 40's had only stepped in a boat three weekend previously), they sat laughting out loud, prim an correctly in their crewing positions & said to me "that was fun , can we go round and do it again?".

Im glad they had faith in me.

As quickly as it came it went.
40 seconds, possible.

How can fourty seconds make your day?.

So why do it, for moments like this.

...the Mother in law.




oooo, ah.

Sorry. Brain work not good now. Week end much big hard. Sort out soonly.
Bleh !

Friday, May 19, 2006

...Crown green bowls.

For those of you who don't know your sixteenth century history then shame on you.
For those of you who do, then you are geeky , just like me.

10 other great moments in history.

1) AD 1066, after a bit of rough & tumble, the English invite the French to stay for a bit.
2) AD 1492 Christopher Columbus gets a bit lost & has to stop off at McDonnalds to ask directions.
3) AD 1776 July 4, England celebrates it's 'independence day' as it gives away a troublesome little colony.
4) AD 1896 Alexanda Graham Bell gets very bored of not having full internet access, so decideds to get the ball rolling.
5) AD 1908, Henry Ford comes up with a great idea to get rid of all that black paint in his garden shed.
6) AD 1912 April 15, HMS Titanic. The last bridge command was Captain Smiths' communication to the Galley "No I said make the ships supper, NOT SCUPPER !"
7) AD 1940 Dunkirk France. The English decide to go home and have a little think about what to do next.
8) AD 1963 November 22, JFK comes up with a wizzer of a publicity stunt that goes a bit awry.
9) AD 1969 April, Buzz, Neil & the boys walk on the film set to fake the first moon landings.
10) AD 1977 Elvis gets a nose job, fakes his death, changes his name to Jenifer & disappears to Belgium.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

...bear knuckle fighting.

To Denzil the squared circle suddenly became very small.

10 things not to do around a bear.

1) Sleep with his girlfriend. ( This includes Yogis' girl Suzie Bear, no matter how sexy she is.)
2) Poke them with sticks or try to put things in them.
3) Show them the real meaning of Pooh sticks. ( This applies to Pooh Bear alone ).
4) Out stare his 'Hard stare' ( This applies to Paddington Bear alone ).
5) Pretend to be a Salmon returning to your spawning grounds.
6) Dress in a rangers suit & try to steal his 'pic-a-nik' basket ( This applies to Yogi alone )
7) Engage one in philisophical debate & try Insinuate that 'Gentle Ben' was in fact batting for the other side.
8) Invite him to tea, & then show him your trophey room.
9) Suggest he is mearly a 'side kick' with 'no intrinsic comic value' other than a 'stooge' for the all together bigger star of the show ( This applies to Boo Boo alone ).
10) Break into thier home , smash thier furniture , eat thier porridge & wreck thier beds while they are out for a quiet morning constitutional.
11) Put in an eleventh item & pretend they can't count.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

...being a bit of a girl.

Glenda breaks a nail.

Monday, May 15, 2006

...water closets.

Brian knew it was strictly against the rules, but the kid was never gonna sleep and he couldn't hold himself any longer.

Brians' singular reason for crossing that closet boundry was the immediate urgency to micturate.
In other words, coming out was a piss of peace.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

...awkward date moments #101

Not only has a lot of water gone under the bridge this weekend, I feel as if I have built the blood bridge as well.

The weekend consisted of.

1) Re-arrange a sail store (approx 10 suits of sails to be re-sorted , checked, mended)
2) Build a 3 meter by 5 meter floating pontoon (While on the water)
3) Traveling - approx 120 miles.
4) Long healthy walk - approx 4 hours going nowhere.
5) Make a new rudder foil. to replace a missing one.
6) Meet members of my home towns Flickr group & attend local festival armed with cameras.
7) Sort our the days photos. (& whine for an hour because my lens is buggered)
8) Somehow I drew a cartoon amongst this lot, then freted because it's not what I wanted it to be.

This may sound a trivial list , but 2 and 6 were designed and executed on the fly by someone who's not a carpenter.

Breakfast (Erm...)
Lunches (1),
dinners (1) ,
cups of tea (dangerously few)
Sleep (Supprisingly little)

As a consequence I am too tired to blog & have nothing tangible to say.

,bugger I just blogged !.

Friday, May 12, 2006


I was going to go with "Clarissa was blessed with ESP, she could sense this was going to sting a bit"

,but Ive not got much to say for my self tonight , so if anyone would like to suggest a caption I will add the best one.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

...Dougs' life.

Every one was a critic,
To Doug his yapping and snarling was his art,
un-appretiated, Doug was prepared to suffer for his art.

,But was he prepared for Tish?.

...Dave of the deep

People who point out your mistakes to others, don't you just love 'em.

The value of hindsight viewed from a remote location is a quality I find truely endearing in a person, especially when mistakes are made because the commentator was too lazy to do the work in the first place.

I have a saying, "He who does nothing, Makes no mistakes."

So I learn from all my mistakes & leave the commentators to still be arses.

Such is the life of an engineer.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


So Jenny became the worlds first starfish & Ronny suffocated painfully in the empty void of space.
Moral : Never leave your fish bowl beside the hat stand.

Monday, May 08, 2006

...great apes.

The problem with drawing cartoons is that people like cartoons, I think its considered throw away art, something that's trivial & expended once the humour has been extracted. This I suppose I have no problem with.
My problem with my cartoons is that as soon as people knew I was drawing them again at lunch times, then I get harassed by office staff asking for requests.
So I loose yet another lunch time doing something for someone which always makes me feel constrained & awkward.
Im always being asked to do caricatures, I truly hate this. It's not my thing. There are not many people in the world that look like dead sheep, so I struggle. (even fewer wear red booties).
Evil Plutos is going to have to emerge one of these days and put spikey things in the eyes of people who approach me as a lesson to others.
Or I should start wearing a sign "Beware, I'm grumpy".

Any way this is my excuse for not doing a bloggable cartoon today. The one I did was handed over and taken away never to be seen again. So I've posted yet another really old one.


Sunday, May 07, 2006

...upper management structures.

Oh well , I should have stopped this one after the first panel.
Never mind it's done now.

This is an example of a rambling mind. I've gained a new company manager this week.
Not a bad chap , but Im sure an alien would request : 'Now take me to a better leader' after meeting him..
Im sure there's a saying about promoting the useless & keeping the best workers down. Should we take this as a compliment ?

Saturday, May 06, 2006

...things that lurk.

I think it's cute my little Goddaughter (No 1) still believes in fairies & things that hide in the closet & under the bed.
Im sure if she read the newspapers & listened a bit more to the worlds media she would realize this is a pretty childish belief system.

OK , she's only 4 ,but that's surely no excuse.

Thursday, May 04, 2006


I shall post tomorrows cartoon today, because I know tomorrow I will not have the day to my self.
Just live with it, tomorrows 'cartoon of the day' is day early therefor will be the 'cartoon of the day' from yesterday for today (Thats tomorrow, the day after today) .
I had to all day today to sort this out.!.
If you read this tomorrow , please ignor the above as this will be the 'Cartoon of the day' , all be it from yesterday.

Which now begs the question, why am I preoccupied with caling all elephants Colin?
(Answers by the end of today.)
(Tomorrow not today , of course)

...gone with the wind

So it happened again today.
For the second time in a week I got my ugly mug captured in the regional newspaper.
Not sure I'm happy with my 15 minutes of fame , I thought they would be for somthing more extravegant than sailing.

10 things Ive not been noted for in the local media :

1) Dancing naked in the moonlight. (It passes the time)
2) Cow tipping. ( he he he)
3) Worrying sheep. (casual)
4) Petty arson.
5) Eating of the worlds largest Jaffa cake.
6) Butt naked streaking at Crown lawn bowling events.
7) Being a stand in bass player with Motorhead. (Move over Lemmy)
8) Further incidents of sheep worrying. (Pre-meditated)
9) Bra burning. (or the pre-requisite removal of)
10) Cartooning & tomfoolary.

I intend to put one of these things right , can you guess......

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

...the wrong rabbit.

'Ursa picked on the wrong rabbit,
on the wrong day.'

My little black mood has passed on.
& this rabbit has now put it's claws away.
I so wanted to have a shouty day today , but was denied by people being nice.
Where do all the worlds arseholes go when you want to rage at one?.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

bettys' escape

bettys' escape, originally uploaded by PlutostheBubbleman.

Betty's daring escape was rapidly foiled by the vacuum cleaner.

...escape from the plenum

This cartoon nearly got scrapped today as I'd buggered up the lines of perspective.
This has'nt helped rid me of my bad attitude today.
I appear to be stuck somwhere between apathy & plain, numbing fatigue at the moment
Blogger photo-upload is playing up so I can't load up my rotten cartoon anyway.
So my world is conspiring agianst me to put anything onto blogger tonight.
I will try to link it to flickr, If that fails I'll protest by going to bed .
That'll teach 'em.
Oh yes.

Monday, May 01, 2006

...lab rabbits revenge

You never know what will go on in the minds of rabbits.