Monday, July 31, 2006

...tales of the unexpected

Hmm , there were two versions of this.
This being the sickly sweet one.(for me that is)
It's really just not right, but I am in the 'can't be arsed' frame of mind tonight, so this is todays scribble.

For those who put in their best effort to achive.....& fail.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

...exploration it turns out the Nile is made of tea.
Well that's jolly good news for all.

(....Oh except the tea growers of India & Sri Lanka, thier workers , dependents, the ecconomy & financial structure built around the tea industry, eeking areas of the third world out of mindumbing povety.)

Other than that Jolly good news for all.

Friday, July 28, 2006

...lunar development

Well I got half way through this & changed my mind.
It's great being this fickle.
Then I had two cartoons.
Which one to post?
Well I couldn't decide so this is both of them.

(It's curently too hot to think straight.)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

...rock sheep.

What the black sheep do.

,Because I've been so busy lately I've missed out on all the summer festivals & the bands touring the local music scene.
Bit annoying because I do enjoy live music & a bit of a jump around in the mosh pit.

Monday, July 24, 2006


Bronco & Smithys' last ride out.

I had a request today to draw up a retirement card for one of our fitters.
Usually I would cringe away & find every excuse to say no, but Ive known the chap ever scince I was a wee apprentice boy, so for once was happy to do somthing.

Bronco (The soon to be retired) is the nicest bloke in the world.
He has been bullied & oppressed by his workmate Smithy ever since I can remember.
It's an odd working relations ship , like Laural & Hardy.
The two stay friendly despite Smithy being an arse sometimes.

We shall get all the site operatives to sign I hope.

(Sigh....only 30 more years working for me to go.)

Friday, July 21, 2006

...allergic reactions

This is my reaction to the broadcast news today that one in three people in Britain have an allergy to something, & that most general practitioners don't know how to deal with them.
I think it's not a case of 'don't know' & more likeyl 'don't really care when there are far more improtant things to deal with'
If some one told me they had a reaction to cats, then I'd tell them to stop keeping cats. Simple. Go away. Stop whining.

But then I can be harsh like this, I refuse to suffer from allergies.

Although I think I may have a mild reaction to tiger bites.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

...great moments in engineering.

Im tempted to do a series of "Great moments in engineering", a subject close to home for me,
but im afraid it will bring out the geek in me for all the world to see & point a finger at.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

...Roald McDonald of the arctic.

I suppose if he had wanted a Starbucks he would have to had reached the North Pole first.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

...traffic cones

The first British moon mission.

Percy led the scientific mission to test whether it was possible to cone off a two lane, contra-flow traffic system across the Sea of Tranquility in zero gravity.

10 other questions that needed to be answered by costly, public, scientific studies & surveys.

1) 9 of 10 chickens, when asked, "do they prefer whole grain or seed" said 'Cluck'
2) 10 out of 10 people surveyed said they preferred gravity as their chosen force of universal attraction.
3) It was noted that 10 out of 10 paratroopers studied over a seven year period chose to utilize a parachute when jumping from a plane at altitude.
4) A five year research project into relative weights of differing substances concluded that a ton on lead did weigh the same as a ton of feathers.
5) A survey concluded that most people chose numbers as thier prefered method of performing complex mathematical calculations.
6) A research project into 'The alternative to breathing' was almost shelved after a number of the team members experimented on themselves , collapsing within minutes due to lack of oxygen.
The study concluded that the alternative, i.e. , ' Not breathing', was proven detrimental to health.
7) A case study of 'bomb disposal' experts showed that they were 600% more likely to die from vapourisation than a members of the general public.
8) An intense 24 hour study of gambeling addicts and farm yard sheep, proved that sheep are not very good a poker & have no concept of a royal flush.
9) Medical research has proven that people with ears have better hearing.
10) An ongoing study of the universe beyond our solar system has concluded that it is quite big,
and despite further resources, time, manpower and funding being poured into this vast enquiry, evidence to the contrary has yet still to be obtained.

and to finish on a song : (not one of mine, but a verse from my old rugby club)

The long and extensive enquiries,
of Darwin , Huxley and Ball,
have conclusively proved that the hedgehog can hardly be buggered at all.
Yet further exhaustive researches
Have incontrovertibly shown,
That this state of comparative safety
Is enjoyed by the hedgehog alone.

I get a little miffed with pointless surveys that confirm to us the most obvious answer.

Monday, July 17, 2006

...fruits of the loin.

So summer arrived & Iv'e my shinny thing syndrome goes into overdrive.

Summer =
a) Running again.
b) Sailing evenings and weekends..
c) Walking & wandering aimlessly with camera in hand.
d) Cycling to nowhere in particular.
e) Eating much BBQ food. (mmmm sausages)
f) Attending odd carnivals, fetes, fairs, festivals, because I can.
g) Just getting out of the house & not cartooning or blogging.

& so this is my excuse for not posting much up lately.
Summers too good to be locked away.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

...tortoise and the hare

I wonder if could we woo Disney into making somthing less saccharine.
Knock out a few Grimm fairy tales with the emphesis on the grim.
Songs by Alice Cooper not Tim Rice.
I wanna see Herbie re-made with Cristine in its place,
I wanna see Lassie replaced by Cujo.
Alice out of wonderland & going cold turkey.
Lets see Micky mouse spread the black death like any self respecting rat would do.

Disney , love the stories, hate the formulaic, repetetive, mindless, moral sweetness which encompasses every predictable release.

There....rant over.

How do we sneak Tarintino onto the board of directors ?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

...dangerous game

Terry & Boz liked to play dangerous games.
Today Terry drew the short straw and was bait.

I was undecided whether to put a caption on the scribble today.
So I did'nt.

Monday, July 10, 2006

...rotten fruit.

When cooking apples go bad & start bobbing for humans.

Thursday, July 06, 2006


Peter had commitment issues & would go to extraordinary lengths to find new and exotic excuses.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

...smoke signals

It's not the little electronic hand set that annoys me specifically , it's usually the pink bit attached to it.
Im one of those small band of (arrogant) people that refuse to own a mobile phone.
Im not sure whether its cool to admit to never having 'texted' anyone, if it isn't, then I'm happy in my deluded state of un-coolness.

10 modern appliences I don't own and am happy about.

01) The mobile phone. (Rotten things spoil peoples lives, never allowing them any time to themselves. Always in contact .Can't leave home without one. Sod that. Its worse than being addicted to crack)
02) A land line telephone. (If people want to get hold of me badly enough, they find a way.)
03) A television. (OK I do confess to watching my dear old mums telly on the odd occasion. News, political discussions ,topical debates, current affairs & rank animal porn only though !.)
04) Satalite navigation. (Why? I own a map & live on an island. If I drive too far I just get wet).
05) Palm top computer. (Pointless. All the functions of a diary with added stress.)
06) In car CD player. (Just too lazy to fit one, & digtal radios ,don't get me on that topic)
07) Playstation/Xbox. (Just too tight to spend the cash, too much of a life to use one)
08) Air conditioning. (I wait all year for it to get toasty & warm, Why then sit around in tepid, recyclyed unfiltered air while wasteing energy hand over fist.)
09) A watch. (lifes too short) (Oh crap, i've just remembered, Ive got one attached to my sailing kit).
10) Electric toothbrush. (The lazyness astounds me).

I shall now go back & sit in my field with the turnips and wave my fist, ranting at the modern world. Bah.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

...truth behind crop circles

The truth behind the origin of the crop circle.
The rest are now a totally modern fabrication.

Note : Lurg also went on to patent the crop circle under the name of 'Crop Rotation'.

Monday, July 03, 2006

...the birth of skuldugery

This scribble, believe it or not, is inaccurate on a number of points :

1) It suggests that the patent system predates the discovery of fire. Historical records suggest his is not true.
2) Fire was in fact discovered as a 'spin off' effect of an experiment carried out by a one Proff' J.F.Winthorpe, Cavendish laboritories, Cambridge. England at 4.10pm, tea time, June 7th ,1936. The results of the original tests and a number of hampsters were lost in the conflagration.
3) It suggests that Plutos the Bubbleman was present to witness the momentous occation or that suficient language was inherrent within society ,as it was, to pass on the names and detailed specifics for future generations to report.
4) There is no record of that patent. (Although if anyone would like to cash in on the patent design rights to fire, Im sure you will make a mint. I suggest you might like to try and patent gravity at the same, time that would go down well.).