Thursday, December 15, 2005


Anyone who has had to deal directly with one will know my torment.
The engineers point of view.
The scribble above hangs on my office wall, within full view.
The intent is that the many architects whom grace my office understand level of my contempt.
I have yet to come across one whose' concept above and beyond the aesthetic will warrant more than a fleeting moments contemplation.
The mere fact that the services will not physically fit in or the fire escape routes do not conform, the ceilings are too low for human habitation & "oh , gosh; surely that would be structurally unsound?".
These concepts mean nothing compared to: "What colour is it?", "Can we move that structural steel?, we want open plan spaces", "I want radiators, but I don't want to see pipes" & most common "Whens Lunch?"

Now its' been my observation that the size of the project is directly proportional to:

a) The architects firm basis in reality and/or concept of the laws of physics & relative three dimmentional spacial awareness.
b) The quantity and quality of interest taken.
c) The concept of client value.
d) The proportion of procrastination.
e) Communication breakdown & quality assurance paperwork generated.
f) Consultation & commentary period required to misunderstand any communication or request for information.
g) Fudging over irrelevant detail and general mincing about.
h) The quantity, quality and frequency of lunches eaten.

Small projects bring on the desire to poke the architect in the eye possibly with something blunt, maybe rusty.
Anything larger than a hotel, office building or in my case today Norwich City football club stand bring on happy thoughts of architectural genocide.

Thank goodness for a nice cup of tea to quell my urges.

What do they do to earn their money ?
Im of the opinion that in the greater scheme of things Architects only just come under insurance brokers, financial consultants & the county council in the list of societies leaches.

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