...cards.

Dont get too sober !

& give fish



Two of my christmas cards this year,
I have to control myself & not upset anyone
So the cards have to stay sickly sweet.

[ Well , for selected people anyway,... some of my friends got the second polar bear cartoon below :o) ]

...bipolar debates & christmas carols

Bipolar debate

Singing for supper.





As with Douglas Adams' book 'Last chance to see'
I'll highlight Polar bears as an endangered species & then make jokes about them.

Well they say global warming shall soon deprive the polar bear of its habitat.
Well that s not strictly true. The habitat will still be around,..... just a little more fluid & widespread.

I would suggest a pair of water wings & a training programme for each bear interested .

...clean sweep

Ok , so sometimes I get asked to do things specifically for people, & always instantly think "oh no, do I have too ! "
Especially of late when I have not really felt much like drawing.
Anyway, in the end I don't mind.
This is the result of one such request.
They will have to put up with me twisting it to my liking.

...free bear.

Saterday night I had a free bar & dinner to attend.
Im told I should abuse this.
Hmm. I rarely drink.

My local dialect pronounces 'beer' as 'bear'.
So the above cartoon could happen.

...Moby Duck.

The lesser known vouyages of the Pequod (abridged).

...gone retro.

I guess this is what I should expect if I spend all day listening to Hendrix.

...chickens

....erm ?

...path to ?

When asked...

..."through meditation of course" ,Sidhartha had replied.


...probably an old joke
I don't know.
No enlightenment here.

...rat birds

Not many things in the world irritate me,
but pigeons tapdancing on my roof in the morning, wood pigeons cooing outside my window all day, pigeons pooing on my car. Pigeons, pigeons pigeons.
(Columbidea ?, columbi-die !)
Grrrrr.

...random spare parts.

Finding spare parts in your boat is not a joyous thing.

Mike Goulding found himself with two spare parts in his boat this week.
Credit must go to him for abandoning his second place position in the current 'Velux Five Oceans' RTW race & rescuing fellow British competitor Alex Thompson from his yacht in the face of hurricane winds.
Happy to see this spare part.
A tough break for Alex as his canting keel broke & capsized him in the middle of the southern ocean.

Mikes mast then broke some hours later due to the stress of the weather.
an unwanted spare part.

...and still they race on.

Makes me wonder how in the light of such acts in the name of sport how footballers always win the top sporting awards.

...Waynes world.

Does my bum look big in this ?, Am I attractive ?

Questions on mass.

Well when you bum creates it's own gravitational pull then the honest answer is YES.

(Sometimes I get bored of flirting around the truth for the sake of social politness.)

...vigilante cow suprise

The moral of this tale ?...
...Never trust a smiling cow.

...poke-a-panda.

I wish blogger were a Panda, & I could poke it with a stick.
Something that was black & white & that although slow might respond.

,but no, it's not.

They tell me to switch to the new improved version.
This strips all my HTML rubbish that I've added & then forgotten how to replace.
When I try to paste it back, it throws errors at me.
No matter how I prod It won't do what it used to.

Grumble.

(Where my stick?)

...anniversary

Well It was a Year and a month ago since I started drawing again.
It was a year ago since I started blogging.

It was my intention to draw one per day, during my lunch break.
The idea being that; if someone saw me drawing, they would assume I was busy & leave me alone.
(I used to loose a lot of lunch breaks because the KENYAJUSTS would hang around me like flies)

Well it seems to have worked, not every day, but people are getting the message now.

DON'T BUG ME ,IT'S LUNCHTIME.

My flickr account only records the last 200 cartoons , but I think I've done around 300. Not so bad.
It's kept me happy.
My shiny thing syndrome has and still continues to get in the way .

So now I 've celebrated by upgrading the blogger , & cocking the layout up.

Sigh , never mind.

...100% fool proof.

Actually Ive done some works in a brewery & I guess It may be pretty hard to organize a full blow piss up , what with all the hygene & health & safety regulations & the lack of readily accessible finished products.

No , it may be easier in a bottling factory.

What ever , I'm off to take in a show of the popular beat combo Motor Head.
;o)

...preacher doth come.

Schoolboy humour, has it really come to this ?

...evil twin.

When Lassie came home, it was unfortunately her evil twin.


My evil twin Zutos has me under survailance & gaurded at present, so I've not had much to say for myself for a while.
Once I bite through my chains, things will change again.
...& the madness will go on, one step beyond.

...truth about cows.

So now you know !

...robbery with a concealed aerosol.

Bazza & Kev realised their mistake after they shouted,
"Put all your shit in this bag"

...S.W.A.T. team.

The seige ended when sergants Thwacker & Crush ran in with cans of raid.

...short stories.

Two more abridged movies, but can you guess which ones ?

...in a galaxy far far away.......

Star Wars abridged.

Anakin goes to the dark side.
Luke defies his father.
Everyones happy.
The end.

...tribulations of a pet rock.

Ever the tragedian.
...there are some days when you feel even the rocks don't like you.

...lost.

Ive not been lost to TV, but my shiny thing syndrome has emerged once again & Iv'e been drawn to other media.

The upshot is , Iv'e not been drawing, blogging, doing any of the things that I feel Iought or thinking very much at all.

My god , that sound a night in front of the TV after all.

Im lost after all.

...bowl of lime green jelly.

The interllectual showdown left Bruce soundly beaten.

...wandering aimlessly.

Some days when the mind wanders aimlessly
it finds it's self in the strange corners that no sensible, self respecting mind should visit.

The sense of being beaten sub-conscious, coming slowly around & awakening back in the real world with an underlying feeling of suprise & bewilderment is often referred to as day dreaming.

This state is statistically responsible for 98.3% of production of images relating to sheep in hats & booties.

What the hell was I thinking.

Sorry.

...communication breakdown

This happened to me for the first time ever this weekend.
A windy day, so I instruct my two students to drop their main sail before they head back home to the jetty.
Moments later ,I can only watch, as the sails , the mast and standing rig fall gracefully into the water with two rather supprised young lads sitting agog on the side of the boat.
One then points at it and shouts to me.
"Our mast fell down."


Im glad they were observent, but it was a little overkill for the instruction given.

...fruit robot of death.

Oh dear , I've finally flipped.
A cartoon done for the 'Everybody draw this' group on Flickr.

...weapons of floss destruction.

This is in light of todays developments in North korea.

I had a number of captions for this, but don't really like any of them.
If anyone can come up with a good one I will change it & re-publish.

...death defying feat.

So my last two entries seemed to have failed to upload.
If this one works , then blogger lives still.

...rocking horse shit.

The result of another one of those rare and random conversations that one finds ones self drawn into, that go off at tangents and spiral out of all control.
Todays was an extream example that to paraphrase would render me blithering. So I wont attempt it.
Panda fillets were one of the milder inclusions.

...not the full pudding.

That elongated period in a restaurant between finishing a meal & paying the bill, when sensible conversation has run out, inevitably leads to ideas like this one.
Pudding is a good source of debate.

...alive.

Good for Doris.
I'm all for the 'do some thing that scares the hell out of you' each day attitude.
If only I could afford it.

...mispent youth.

Somthing a little different.
I found some old sketches in one of my mothers cupboards, about two dozen from about 1984 to 1986
I have changed some of the notes , my hand writing at 14 was appauling.
I appear to have added "dewhurst", the family butchers at the bottom of the cliff.
This is what made me smirk at this one.
So this would have been about the time Ronnie Regan started playing silly buggers with the eastern block.

This is sort of what dated the bunch for me. Not Sly Stones best film ever.

He he he , sheep skates.
What no red booties.!


My version of the prisoner I suppose. Made me smile though.
My chemistry teacher. Odd fellow.


First red boots spotted in 1985. Woot.
Odds & sods, probably when I stopped drawing & had my 12 year sabatical.

Conclusions :-
a) I mis-spent some of my youth.
b) I was an odd child.
c) I spent to much time thinking about sheep.
d) Iv'e not matured that much.

...worm that turned.

It's great when backup arrives.
One for the little guys everywhere.

...dark , chocolate cartoon.

The chocolate box selection. A brief guide :-

Females : The ones with soft centers.
Males : The ones with nuts.
Others : Fudge.

...fresh fish

Once again I started drawing somthing I knew was just plain wrong.

......,but did it anyway.


Why do we put dolphins in the same class a kittens & puppies?
Not to be eaten unless you're wicked evil, a social outcast or French.

...carrots.

Food processing.
...now we're cooking.