Wednesday, May 17, 2006

...bear knuckle fighting.

To Denzil the squared circle suddenly became very small.

10 things not to do around a bear.

1) Sleep with his girlfriend. ( This includes Yogis' girl Suzie Bear, no matter how sexy she is.)
2) Poke them with sticks or try to put things in them.
3) Show them the real meaning of Pooh sticks. ( This applies to Pooh Bear alone ).
4) Out stare his 'Hard stare' ( This applies to Paddington Bear alone ).
5) Pretend to be a Salmon returning to your spawning grounds.
6) Dress in a rangers suit & try to steal his 'pic-a-nik' basket ( This applies to Yogi alone )
7) Engage one in philisophical debate & try Insinuate that 'Gentle Ben' was in fact batting for the other side.
8) Invite him to tea, & then show him your trophey room.
9) Suggest he is mearly a 'side kick' with 'no intrinsic comic value' other than a 'stooge' for the all together bigger star of the show ( This applies to Boo Boo alone ).
10) Break into thier home , smash thier furniture , eat thier porridge & wreck thier beds while they are out for a quiet morning constitutional.
11) Put in an eleventh item & pretend they can't count.


sim said...

Do you know, Ive just read this back.
Now I wish I were on some kind of heavy sedatary drugs so I could explain this .

Sadly this is not the case.

OldHorsetailSnake said...

Very dandy, Pluto. Especially #11.

Anonymous said...

#12: Suggest to the illustrator of every bear to add genitals.